So, I'm diabetic, and forced to lose weight. I only get a tiny amount of dry food each day...and I'm starving. That makes me reflect on the fact that certain people, who usually write this blog, make recipes and write about them---with pictures of the food. Do you think that person is starving herself?? NO! In fact she's been cooking some sort of high calorie, special thing for Monday (and muttering all kinds of vile language because it isn't going well). She can be very foul mouthed.
Here's what I think about the diet. How am I supposed to keep my street cred? Cats avoid this yard because they take one look at me and run away--because of my size. I would never fight, because it would mess up my hair or I might break a nail. But, they don't know that. If I lose weight, I'm going to lose my advantage (and wind up someone's bitch).
And worst of all................
What about all the loose skin???? I'll need a tummy tuck.
I need a drink, but Brandy Alexanders are not on my diet. This week Kate and Puddy (who has no weight problem) are hosting Weekend Cat Blogging at their site, Life Is Byootaful. They're having a salute to The Simpsons, which I love. So head over there and see the fun!
poor upsie!! I can understand that you are not feeli9ng well wif you diet! diets are crap and momma mommaa is always muttering about my mancat-y fluffy wide-body as she calls it!!
you see - you pointed out the fact we we need to stay how we are and maintain our body-fluffyness. I am a pacifist myself and would never fight so whioch other means to we have?
purrs, Kashim
darling upsie, you have to stay healthy and unfortunately this means to loos some weight! I am pretty sure your mom is suffering with you but the just wants to do all whats necessary to keep you in best and healthy condition!
headscritches for you!
--astrid
Posted by: astrid | July 28, 2007 at 03:00 AM
Oh Upsie, you win my heart every time. So sorry but don't you feel better!
Posted by: Tanna | July 28, 2007 at 04:01 AM
Upsie,
This is so funny. Unfortunately, I feel for you with the special diet. Work on building muscle. Take care.
Posted by: Bonnie from Virginia | July 28, 2007 at 04:11 AM
Hi Upsie,
We were hoping you'd update us on your situation this weekend! You look lovely in the grass.
We've been meaning to tell you that even though Mosaic Lady does NOT cook, does NOT LIKE to cook, the last few recipes on your mom's blog have driven her nuts! The pastas, pestos, eggplant...even the nut and cheese loaf. You might make a cook of her yet.
Sadie said to tell you that she is NOT getting into a stroller. EVER.
Take good care of yourself. We know you'll be OK once you adjust to the changes.
Willie & Bianca
Posted by: mosaic cats | July 28, 2007 at 07:09 AM
Upsie, so sorry about the diet. Maybe develop a hobby, take your mind off food? :)
Posted by: Lisa | July 28, 2007 at 08:30 AM
Upsie, so sorry about the diet. Maybe develop a hobby, take your mind off food? :)
Posted by: Lisa | July 28, 2007 at 08:31 AM
Upsie,
I can't imagine you being anyone's bitch.
Posted by: e | July 28, 2007 at 08:52 AM
LOL LOL LOL! Poor girl, you and MOMMY are just TOO funny!! - I know there's nothing funny about that stupid diet. BAD ol' Mommy! Look on the bright side...just think how sexy you'll be! I can send some tuxedo guys out from Virginia to help look out for you in the yard (but they're kind of sissies). Love to you, we're thinking about you. : )
Posted by: John | July 28, 2007 at 04:14 PM
Oh, poor little Upsie, how cruel! But you must understand that your mom HAS to make you eat less. For her it's also not funny!
Don't worry, you will always look gorgeous! I want to scratch your stomach and hug you...
Posted by: Rosa | July 28, 2007 at 04:18 PM
LOL! LOL! I can't see Upsie being anybody's bitch either :-D
Oh Upsie, it really is for the best my darling. Think how much faster you'll be able to run and how much more energy you will have!
I think...no I know...my Max must also go on a diet. His manly width is getting a bit too manly for my own liking.
Posted by: Ann | July 28, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Wind up someone's bitch LOLOLOLOLOL Poor Upsie. I have a pooch on a diet in my home so I know the pain you are feeling. Just think though. Those bodacious hips of yours will be sashaying around in no time...and maybe a boyfriend will be in your future??
Posted by: Joy T. | July 28, 2007 at 10:19 PM
psssst, ups'...
tell yur mom yur coming over to watch the tres skinny peeps ride bicycles through paris -- to get some inspiration for yur diet, of course.
shhh, don' tell, but i gots chizburgers [no rolls, just the locarb meat!] hiding under my tent [it's in a cooler, not getting stinky], and i'll share them with you.
if you need a ride, i'll tell hur to go get you, on a speedy french bicycle, of course!
ooh-la-la, vous êtes ma belle amie.
Posted by: taboo | July 29, 2007 at 08:16 AM
Upsie, you will never be someone's bitch, no matter how svelt you end up. Remember, losing a wee bit of weight is good for your health, so you'll be able to stay with your mama for many years to come.
Posted by: kristi | July 29, 2007 at 06:04 PM
Poor Upsie! My cat, Huey, can relate. He's (well, was) a portly fella, but he got food allergies (to all the good things like chicken, tuna, salmon) and had to go on a special bland diet. He'd spit out the light beige Science Diet Z/D pebbles as if to say, "Bleh!" (Or Ptooey!) Anyhoo...he lost 3-4lbs and is still as jolly as ever. But he does have the loose skin on the tummy. Sorry!
Posted by: Barbara | July 30, 2007 at 08:21 AM