WCB: Upsie

My beloved Upsie died on Thursday afternoon.  Her condition suddenly turned downward on Wednesday. Until then she ate with her old gusto and seemed to be handling whatever pain she had with grace. In truth, it wasn't clear that she was in pain, cats can hide that so well.  But, I could feel how her kidneys were growing much larger, bulging out of her sides, and I knew that her cancer was getting much worse.  Then, Wednesday she stopped eating, which was an ominous sign.  That night, she slowly made her way to the living room, where I was reading, sat at my feet, and began to cry.  She couldn't lie in any position without it causing her pain, and she kept looking at me, as if she thought I might be able to do something to make her feel better. 

I got very little sleep that night, staying by her side, petting her, and promising that I would get her pain killers from the Vet.  By Thursday morning she was obviously in horrible pain and couldn't walk, so I made the painful decision that I wouldn't let her suffer and made an appointment for her Vet to come to our house and euthanize her in the evening. I also went to the Vet's office and got some pain killers. 

I gave her the pain killers and soon she seemed better, not showing pain.  I petted her and talked to her for a long time, then left to go feed my new baby squirrels.  I kept checking on her, petting her, and combing her hair.  Then later in the afternoon, when I came back from feeding the squirrels again, I found that she had passed away. 

Losing Upsie is very painful. I love every cat I've ever had, but Upsie is special to me. She was my sister Antonia's cat.   Upsie was homeless when my sister found her and they were immediate soul mates.  Antonia was a wonderful, exasperating, creative, flawed, and beautiful person, who suffered from alcoholism and bi-polar disorder.  To say that her life was difficult is an extreme understatement.   Upsie gave her love and didn't judge or find her wanting in any way.  When life became too difficult, Antonia took her own life and left behind a note, asking me to take care of Upsie. And, of course, I did.  Whenever I looked at Upsie, I saw my sister.  I remembered how Upsie could make her feel good in the worst of times.  She was my link to my sister.  And now she is gone. 

I like to think that Antonia was having a wonderful time in heaven when she got the word that Upsie died. She jumped up and and ran to meet her. And there was such joy, massive joy, as they met again.

Thank you to everyone who came to visit with Upsie, whether you left a comment or not.  Thanks to the wonderful cat blogging community who gave their support. Bless all of you.

WCB is being hosted this week by the wonderfully talented Amar and Luna at CatSynth.Com. The Bad Kitty Cats Festival Of Chaos is with the adorable brats at Pets Garden Blog, The Carnival Of Cats is at Nikita’s Place, The Friday Ark is at Modulator  and Caturday is at Coat Of Many Colors.  And if you want to know what's happening all over the cat world, go to The Cat Blogosphere

Comments

[mamacat & the furrypurries]

We are so sad to hear the news about Upsie. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
MamaCat & the FurryPurries
Ozzy, Alice, Bootsie, Freckles. Lola & Dandelo

[gattina]

I am so sorry ... Upsie, I miss you...

[Karen Jo]

I am so sad to read about Upsie's passing. I am sure that she and your sister are together again now and very happy. I know you will miss her horribly, but it was her time to go.

[Ana Borelli Canuto]

Oh !!
It's really bad this notice.
I can't listen ho histories like this instead getting sad.
I hope you become better soon.

[Jane]

I am so sorry to read that Upsie has gone. She was such a beautiful cat. To pass, at home, without pain, amongst those who love you and those you love is a good way to go. Rest in Peace Upsie xx

[Kashim & Othello and Momma Astrid]

Oh Sher,
thank you for sharing the story about Upsie and your sister.
I knew she was special to you but now I know why she was that special at all.
we love you and Upsie and Sundance and of course the "new" fur babies Pumpkin and Little Terrorist Kitten Laura.

sending lost of hugs
Astrid and the boys

[CatSynth (Amar and Luna)]

We were so sad to hear about Upsie has gone :(..
You and Upsie were among the first to welcome us into cat blogging, and we always enjoyed seeing her every weekend, eating or playing ouside or just being cute. Thank for sharing the story about her and your sister, it was beautiful and sad. We'll miss our friend, and our hearts go out to you and Pumpkin and Laura.

-Love,
Amar and Luna

[Ela]

Sher -- I'm so sorry to hear of Upsie's passing. Thinking of you .... E

[Katie]

I just got home from work and heard the sad news. :( I'm so sorry that Upsie has passed. I know that your sister and her are both catching up on snuggles in heaven. You have so much support here in the cat blogosphere - please tell us if we can do anything for you. You are in our thoughts. *hug*

[Peter]

Sher, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I too have pets and know the connection one can have.

Only time will feel and this is the crappy time when time doesn't fly.

[Poppy Q]

Thanks for telling that lovely story about Upsie. I am sorry to hear that she passed, but she was lucky to die at home in her bed with you around. It sounds like she was lucky to find such love with you and your sister, and I know it must be hard as you now have a pussycat shaped hole in your heart.

Sending you warm purrs across the ocean. I think you are right - your sister and Upsie will be sitting somewhere quietly together now, enjoying each others company.

Poppy Q and mum

[Judy]

we loved Upsie. Thank you for sharing her life with us. We are very sad

Hurricane, Popeye and mom

[Gandalf & Grayson]

We are so sorry to hear you've lost your lovely Upsie. We know she had a most wonderful life with you, and we're sure your sister knew that would be true when she asked you to take care of her. Purrs.

[baking soda]

I'm so sorry to hear this Sher. I can imagine how you must feel right now, especially with that extra-special link to your sister. Thinking of you,
Warm hugs,

[Gypsy & Tasha]

Sher, Thank you for sharing Upsie's beautiful story with all of us. We feel privileged to have shared a little in her adventures. Like you said, we're sure that your sister and Upsie together again. You looked after Upsie so well, even to helping her to be comfortable at home right up to the end. We're purring for your family, and Pumpkin and little Laura through this time.

Gentle headbutts

Gypsy & Tasha & Karen (Mum)

[MyKitchenInHalfCups]

Sher I know. But I must say I'm so with you. Hugs to you and Upsie and your sis!

[Parker]

Please accept our deepest sympathies. You are in our prayers.
Your story of Upsie was very touching. I am sure your were right, there was a wonderful reunion in heaven...

[breadchick]

Upsie was indeed a special cat. She will be missed and LB and I send you all the love and support you need during this time.

Hugs and kisses sweetie
Breadchick Mary

[Samantha & Mr. Tigger]

Our thoughts and purrayers are with you during this sad time! Thank you for sharing Upsie's gotcha story with us! That was beautiful just like Upsie was! We will miss her! Your sister and her are having a party in heaven! Hugs to you all!
Your FL furiends,

[Sheryl]

Sher,

So sorry to hear about Upsie. We had to put one of our own cats down yesterday due to cancer as well, so I am definitely feeling your pain and loss today. I thought of Upsie many times as we were going through the (thankfully short) process and wondered how she was doing.

Through your blog Upsie brought a lot of joy to many people. That's a great legacy for a little cat to have.

[jennywenny]

So sad about upsie, tina is here on my lap as I type and she says bye too.

I'm glad you had a chance to say goodbye and that she didnt suffer too much.

[Kalyn]

I'm so sorry to hear this news and wishing there was something I could do to make you feel a little better. I didn't know about the connection between Upsie and your sister, which must make it even more painful. I'll be thinking of you and sending loving wishes.

[kate]

I am so sad for you, Sher.

with love and hugs from Kate, Bustopher and Harmon

[Radcliff, Allie, Luna, & Ozzie]

We didn't know Upsie's story before. It must have been especially hard to lose her. At least she died without pain, in her own home, among her people.

Sending comforting purrrrsss and gentle head butts.

ppuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Katie]

I am so sorry to hear this news. I liked reading Upsie's stories every week. She was obviously a very loved and cared for kitty who had a nice life.